“Men don’t suffer domestic violence”: making sense of domestic violence in childhood and its legacy in adult life

Despite the detrimental effects on childhood development and future adult relationships from exposure to parental domestic violence, limited research has explored the voices of individuals who bear the legacy of domestic violence across the lifespan. This phenomenological study explored the interpretated ‘lived’ experiences of domestic violence from a purposive sample of four adults aged between 30 and 55, all of whom were in adulthood at the time of the study and had experienced domestic violence in childhood. Data collection through semi-structured interviews and analysis were guided by the protocols of Interpretative Phenomenological Analysis. Participants reflected on past experiences, current negative patterns, and triggers for change. Four superordinate themes surfaced: The Legacy: Navigating Identity, Safety, and Boundaries; High Alert, Dissociation, and Disempowerment; Enduring Shadows of Transgenerational Trauma; and Growing Self, Learning to Trust: The Path to Healing. Participants' narratives revealed a complex tapestry of suffering, strength, and growth, where early betrayal shaped intricate identities. The pervasive impact of domestic violence kept these participants in a state of high alert, with dissociation serving as a crucial coping mechanism. Their experienced betrayal as children complicated the formation of healthy relationships in adult life. Yet, a journey towards healing emerged, marked by education, therapy, mindfulness, and self-awareness. For these participants, interpreted findings revealed the significant impact of domestic violence exposure in childhood and mid-life on adult relational functioning. Despite deliberate engagement with the complexities of domestic abuse, participants expressed hope that patterns of learned violence would change as they moved through the mid-life period.