Relative strangers: a childhood memoir

My childhood memoir is set in Sydney’s eastern and inner city suburbs and spans the period from 1966 to 1975. The memoir is made up of short chapters that show the deterioration and inevitable breakdown of my parents’ marriage, the significant events and relationships that occurred during their years spent apart, ending with my father’s suicide at forty-seven years of age. My research discovered significant details about my parents’ histories, principally; my mother’s molestation as an infant, and my father’s incarceration as a prisoner of war. These revelations led to the memoir’s title, which describes the relationship I believe I had with both my parents, as well as the relationship they had with one another – one of deeply held secrets from their pasts. Writing the memoir was a process of experimentation and discovery. What started off as a ‘misery memoir’ evolved, I hope, into a story that shows a balanced view of both of my parents, both of whom I have a better understanding of as a result of this project. The exegesis examines the two narratives that dominate: that of the ‘maternal narrative’ of my mother, and the ‘migrant/paternal’ narrative of my father. While these narratives and the characterisation of my mother and father ring true for me, they are also convenient and selective stories that have, in fact, changed throughout the process of writing my memoir. From the outset of writing about my childhood my intention was always to be ‘truthful’ and accurate, yet, inevitably, I omitted certain incidents, constructed dialogue to ‘show’ not tell, reordered events to ‘fit’ within a timeline, and conflated minor characters. In essence, I found myself fictionalising and employing tropes most commonly ascribed to fiction. According to literary scholar Gunnthorunn Gudmundsdottir, there is an inherent fictionalised nature in all life-writing. This exegesis engages with contemporary literary criticism on the current phenomenon that is ‘memoir’; where the internal world becomes externalised, where storytelling is the imperative, and where memory and imagination become indistinguishable.