Policing, medical discharge, and a diagnosis of PTSD: is psychological growth possible following the anguish of policing trauma, leaving the ‘family’, and perceived moral injury?

The potential for acute and cumulative exposure to traumatic events associated with policing, is well recognised. However, research exploring the subjective impact of that trauma, particularly when it results in discharge with a diagnosis of post-traumatic stress disorder (PTSD), is significantly limited. Drawing on a phenomenological epistemological position, this study explores the subjective ‘lived’ experience of seven ex-NSW police personnel medically-discharged-with-PTSD. It sought both positive and negative interpretations of a) their personal experience of policing; b) consequential discharge with PTSD; and, c) life after discharge. Using Interpretative Phenomenological Analysis (IPA), semi-structured interviews provided the data for transcription and analysis. One superordinate theme: Moral betrayal, silence and hope in policing trauma; overarched four subordinate themes: Eroded identity; Moral betrayal; Relationship change; Change in values. These interpreted themes mirror multiple layers of complex policing trauma in these participants that over time eroded hope. They reveal a growing awareness of moral injury that only found voice, post-discharge. Chronic exposure to policing trauma was experienced as a domino effect slowly diminishing self-worth and consequently corroding their earlier sense of purpose as police personnel. Intrinsically, shame was interpreted as having failed. Discharge dissociated them from the collegial support necessary to reintegrate into their post-discharge lives. Instead, former altruistic selves became reclusive. These participants attributed felt distress as directly attributable to organisational factors that left them feeling invalidated, betrayed, and without support. Over time, some experienced a newfound appreciation of ‘self,’ facilitated by hope.